Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Compassion for Self is a Life's Work

I have started meditating again, first thing in the morning before getting dressed for work. The Tibetan incense burns slowly, filling the meditation room with a heavy scent. I love it. I love these rituals. Like a warm bath with lavender, it soothes my mind and calms my spirit.

It's very quiet in my house in the early morning. Alone. Quiet. I have a cup of iced oat straw tea and sit. I love these times. My spirit needs a certain amount of alone time to feel replenished.

This morning I ask for help, for guidance. I watch my breathe, in and out. Allow my state of consciousness to deepen. The message I receive was very beautiful, and timely - as are all of the gifts we receive in meditation. In my minds eye, I see an image of Yogananda, whose lessons on Self Realization I have been reading. He takes my hands in his, smiles. I sense his message "we are all children of the universe. We are all part of the divine plan. Allow karma to unfold as is written. Let go of the mind, the guilt, the rationals for everything. All is as it is, as it should be, as it will be. The law is love, and unfolds as it unfolds. Let go into the law, and relax. " He reminds me of the truth of the universe. I find it very reassuring.

We can all drive ourselves crazy with constant thoughts, going one way, then another, back and forth, as if the concerns of the ego mattered in reality. The pull of the past or the pull of the future, both consist of old habits, thought patterns of memory. Dave and I were just discussing this over the weekend, the vibration of memory and the distortions we cling to.

This morning I could see my worries, my thoughts, my lifetimes float by, above my head like clouds. Different personas and personalities, passing over time. I felt none were the real me, all just interpretations of the real within me. Nothing was held, in that moment everything floating freely. What a inner ahhhhh, such lasting wisdom.

I am reminded that compassion for ourselves, is a good place to start the day.

Getting back to this post, now early evening - am reminded that compassion for self is a life's work.

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